Health and Healing

The mind is only capable of processing positives.

If you see a child climbing a tree, and they are precariously balanced, be careful what you tell them to do. If you shout, “Don’t fall!”, their mind has to interpret it as “FALL!!! don’t.” They are more likely to fall, than not. What you probably want to get across to them is “Be careful.”

Cigarette companies do not need to spend a lot of money on advertising because many people are doing it for them. You know all those “No Smoking” signs? They are a clear reminder to people who are trying to quit to “SMOKE! not”. Of course their craving is even worse. One of the greatest advances in this area is the sign that shows a little cloud on a sky-blue background indicating “Clean air”.

So what does this have to do with posi-genesis, health and healing?

Many rehab programs are performing marvellous services to their clients in helping them move away from an addictive life-style, but their success rate only tends to be 30%, give or take. While this is a good enough stat to get you into the Baseball Hall of Fame, I would venture to say that it is not all that great when dealing with human lives, especially when we know so much about behaviour modification.

Using the concept of posi-genesis, and the idea of turning on the light in a dark room in order to read a book, we can view health and healing in the same manner. A lack of health, however, can cause extremely damaging effects, just like a lack of heat or a lack of wealth. Posi-genesis does not pretend to say that the problem does not exist, nor that looking at negative effects is a poor way of analyzing a situation. Posi-genesis rather offers the idea that negative solutions are not effective in overcoming these negative effects.

It seems to me that the various rehab centres that focus on stopping an action have the effect, for most people, of reinforcing the habit. By continually saying “Don’t drink” or “Don’t drug”, the effect is that of “DRINK! don’t”, or “DRUG! don’t”. It serves as a continual reminder of the action the person is trying to stop. A more effective means of accomplishing the noble end would be to reinforce the healthy habits they are trying to actually cultivate.

When I first became a Bahá'í, the most difficult thing for me was to be able to go into a bar with my friends and not have a beer. Why? I wasn’t an alcoholic and didn’t suffer from any ill side effects of not drinking. The problem was when I went into a bar I ordered a beer. It was that simple. How could I go in and order a “not beer”? What would they give me? A whiskey?

The solution was easy, once I thought about it. I went in and ordered a juice. If someone offered to buy me a drink, I thanked them and got a juice.

There are many bad habits we would like to eliminate, but the problem is often finding the substitute. You cannot easily stop doing something, without doing something else. If you don’t have another action to replace the bad habit, you often fall back into the old routine, the habit.
There are a few rehab centres that have picked up on this concept and their “success” rate seems to be much higher, with stricter criteria for how they define success. If anyone has any information on these types of centres, I would be very grateful if they could send it to me.

To Consort; or to Tolerate, Respect and Honour

Over the past few weeks, I have received a number of e-mails regarding some of the previous postings. Perhaps I’ll make a habit of offering comments to them in general, rather than individually, as many of the comments touch on the same themes.

First, and probably the most obvious, is the response to the use of the word “consort”. It was pointed out that “consort” has a number of different definitions: the spouse of a monarch (noun) and to associate with (verb) being the two that are most applicable. When I look at words, I often think how the various definitions are similar in concept. Here, with “consort”, we find one concept, namely that of association, with many different points on the spectrum, those being how closely we associate. To further shed light on this subject, let me quote from one of the e-mails regarding this (and thank you Dave for putting it so well).

When the Báb was manifested in Persia, I would suggest that humanity was at the lowest end of this spectrum. Thousands of Bahá’ís were slaughtered simply for being Babis or "Do not consort with any other than your own religion." As we advance towards the present era, we have made very little progress in this area. Nazi Germany, Rwanda and 9/11 are examples of our failure.

The establishment of the "Greater Peace" will be heralded by (the) majority of humanity treating others with a degree of respect indicated by the "Spouse of a Monarch" definition of consort. This day also defines the higher end of the spectrum "Consort with the followers..." as Bahá’u’lláh revealed.

That being said, you could not be more correct in the assertion that posi-genesis is the ONLY way to correct the injustices that we witness everyday. TOLERANCE of all will bring the peace that we as Bahá’ís wish would come.

In short, this concept of consorting begins with simply being with the other person. We do not generally start by having a very close and intimate relationship with others, but rather we aspire towards it.

Perhaps a good step would be to look at this spectrum of association that is suggested. We can see it in relation to “personal space”, or how close someone can be to us before we begin to feel uncomfortable. For some it may be a meter or two, others a foot away. My wife can be even closer without my feeling any sense of discomfort, but I won’t go there. Regardless of the actual distance, I would suggest that degree of closeness, both emotionally and in physical comfort for personal space, would be in the following order:

Stranger ----- Acquaintance ----- Friend ----- Partner ----- Spouse

Obviously, there are many levels within this, and I’m sure it can be further refined, but this is just a start. As we get to know others better, they move further along this spectrum. Even though I do believe in monogamy, it seems to me that there are cases where someone else can be as close as a spouse, without any of the sexual connotations. This would be true unity with another.

In comment to the use of the word “tolerance”, I would suggest that this be replaced with “respect and honour”. I can only imagine how horrible life would be if my wife merely tolerated me. But tolerance is, in many cases, the first step. Unfortunately it seems to have the implication of being done grudgingly, although I am not certain of this.

The issue of tolerance versus respect and honour does not actually fit in the above path, but applies at all levels. In fact, it seems to be an internal issue, rather than that of external or relational between others. I have, unfortunately, met people who do, in fact, only tolerate their spouse, and life does not seem to be very happy for either of them. On the plus side, I’ve also had the joy of meeting people who truly honour and respect complete strangers, really trying to understand their perspective, no matter how different. It is to this level that we must strive, starting wherever we are and trying to move to a closer and more intimate relationship.

So where does all this lead us?

It is hoped that we do not confuse the lofty goal for the next step on the path.

“Think globally. Act locally.” “If you aim for the stars, you will never shoot yourself in the foot.” “A journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step.”

These are all the same principal. Remember your goal, but take the next step on your path towards it.
Posi-genesis merely helps us keep the goal in mind. It is up to each and every one of us to figure out how to apply it.